Even the cat seems depressed; a definite sign that something’s not quite right. Who would have thought that several weeks of nothing would be quite so exausting? I’m sat staring at our lethargic lump of black fur as he takes his umpteenth catnap of the day, flicking his tail in mild annoyance that the sound of the TV has caused him to stir. What can a cat possibly have to be depressed about? Surely his days should be spent out and about, roaming the abundance of fields behind our house, hunting rabbits and stalking birds? I do understand him though. Our lazy cat is just suffering from an existential crisis. Nothing to worry about!
On the surface the life of a cat seems pretty straight forward. Our cat barely even answers to us unless he feels inclined to do so. I can’t help wondering though, if he’s started to feel like his days are just merging into each other. Nothing changes. It’s not like he has to be anywhere at any given time so why should he bother getting his daily fill of chasing dragon flies this early on in the day? After a couple of months of no work and if I’m really honest, almost a year of the simple life, while I finish my studies, I’m also starting to feel that way. I have a dissertation to write by mid-September. That’s all that stands between me and my quest for a full time career and everything that would come with it (in this case friends and a social life wouldn’t go amiss) therefore it stands to reason that the quicker I get this thesis over with, the quicker I can get on with my life. So, why is it so hard to sit down and start writing?
I have all the time in the world yet I cannot help feeling as though I am wasting it. Time is rushing by at an incredible pace but without the structure of employment or formal classes the days ressemble one another. Every night I vow that tomorrow will be the day I make a start on my assignment. I wake up (late of course) and spend whatever is left of the morning slowing accustoming myself to the daylight. I check my emails, a process which can take up to two hours before taking a leisurely lunch; after which I tell myself I may as well just make the best of the day and try again tomorrow, getting up earlier for my studies. On a good day I might sort out the laundry or do some ironing. In some cases we hit up the Peg for an afternoon coffee. But, what we have really acheived is another wasted day. Not a step closer to my dissertation goals, whilst being ever closer to the dreaded deadline.
Although I am sure the cat is not procrastinating, the result is rather similar. Here we are moping around the house when we should be out and about making the most of the sunshine (or writing a dissertation. But, as I have said before if you’re going to procrastinate – and let’s face it of course I am! – then you may as well have some fun while you’re at it!). Tonight, Silsoe has not come home. It’s as though he has received an injection of life. Full of energy after another lazy day. The dirty little stop out is probably having a ball, chasing mice under the moonlight. He’ll come crawling in at dawn, rendering his sleepiness tomorrow valid. If only I had the same excuse! Since I am not out partying all night, I promise to catch up with all the writing which I have been avoiding (including this blog!) tomorrow.